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PREPARED BY PRESIDENT & CEO ANTHONY "TONY" STARK[]
Stark Industries Tech-Assess: “Destroyer”
“My first question: “Can I have one?
“No, seriously, I love this thing, and I’ve only seen video of it blasting through a phalanx of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents like they were ants at a picnic (sorry, Fury).
“I tried to get Thor to explain it to me, but my advanced degrees are in Engineering and Physics, not Comparative Religion. I’ll do my best to repeat what he told me:
“Back in Ye Olde Mythy Times, Thor’s dad, Odin, King of the Space Vikings, needed to defeat a cosmic-level threat to Asgard. So he had the same dwarves that built Thor’s hammer forge an indestructible suit of armor he could project his essence into. This gave the Destroyer incredible strength and energy projection that, based on the aforementioned video, has to be approaching 3.8 x 10^26 joules. That's the total daily energy output of the sun each second, Nick.
“Once the threat was vanquished, the Destroyer was still partly imbued with Odin’s lifeforce and therefore too dangerous to just leave lying around, so Odin sealed it in a tomb in Asgard.
“Which is a total shame, if you ask me. Like I said, I want one. For one thing, the commercial applications of a lifeforce-powered super-metal are endless.
“I tried to set up a meeting through Thor so I could study the Destroyer more closely, but he just laughed and said his father would ‘smite me for my impudence.’ I said so would Miss Belize 2009.
“He didn’t get it.”