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Squirrel Girl Articles and Topics:
Recruited Message[]
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Covert Task: Bright Eyed, Bushy Tailed[]
Task 4 Complete[]
Tony Stark:
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Thor’s flown in another load of acorns for the pile. I’m thinking we should charge admission: "Come see the amazing Nut Pyramid!" |
Nick Fury:
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This isn’t the silliest thing S.H.I.E.L.D.’s ever done... but it’s close. |
Squirrel Girl:
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Well, I think it’s great! |
| Nick Fury:
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Gah! When did you get here?! |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Are you guys busy? Squirrels have been disappearing all over the city! I could use your help finding them. |
| Tony Stark:
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Let me get this straight. You want us to drop what we’re doing and help you rescue squirrels? You are completely - |
| Nick Fury:
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Remember Dr. Doom. |
| Tony Stark:
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… right. You are completely right, we should help. |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Thanks guys! Alright, follow me! |
Task 7 Complete[]
| Tony Stark:
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Doreen, do you have any idea where we're going? |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Nope! I just wanted to kick Dragoness' butt. I'm sure we'll find the squirrels if we keep looking around, though! |
Hank Pym:
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Stark. I hear you have a rodent problem. |
| Tony Stark:
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Please tell me you have a solution. |
| Hank Pym:
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I can adapt my insect comms rig to work with small mammals. It should allow for long-range communication with squirrels. I'm not surprised you didn't think of it. |
| Tony Stark:
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Hank, normally I'd love to get into one of our usual slap-fights, but anything that brings this "mission" to a close faster is worth seeing that smug smile of yours. |
| Hank Pym:
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You're welcome. Give me a few hours to throw it together. |
Task 8 Complete[]
| Squirrel Girl:
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Uh huh... Uh huh. Really? Wow. Go on. |
| Tony Stark:
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Do you think the Squirrely-Talkie's working, or is she just faking it? |
| Hank Pym:
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Of course it's working. Why wouldn't it - |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Shhh! |
| Tony Stark:
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Sorry. |
| Squirrel Girl:
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... Uh huh. Of course we will! Okay, bye!
The squirrels say they've fled the city because A.I.M.'s set up some big machine underneath Central Park. It's driving all the animals crazy. We have to take it out! |
Task 10 Complete[]
| Squirrel Girl:
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We did it! Oh my gosh, you guys are the best! How can I ever thank you? |
| Nick Fury:
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Have you ever considered joining the Avengers? You'd be a valuable asset to the team. |
| Tony Stark:
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Wait, what? |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Hmm... let me think it over with Tippy-Toe. Does the Helicarrier cafeteria handle special diets? She's strictly macadamia-only. |
S2, Ch. 5: Mission 3 - Up a Tree[]
Mission Start[]
| Squirrel Girl:
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Nick! I mean, Director Fury. Where's Tony? |
| Nick Fury:
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What do you need, Squirrel Girl? |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Well, I was in Central Park and my fuzzy friends were all chittering about something weird going on. I went to look and it turned out they were talking about the Circle of 8!
They were doing something weird and culty, so I kept my eye on them from a tree branch, while Tippy-Toe watched from a nearby trash can. Tippy-Toe thinks they killed someone! I thought you guys should know. This is... here, I took a picture. I'll text it to you. |
| Tony Stark:
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Ay yi yi, that's a lot of symbiote goo. How many bodies? Four? |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Hi, Mr. Stark!!! |
| Tony Stark:
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... hi, Doreen. |
| Nick Fury:
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I want a squad in the park to see what the Circle of 8 is up to. |
MiniBoss - Bullseye[]
Reveal[]
| Squirrel Girl:
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Um, Mr. Stark... See that guy watching the Circle of 8? Guess who it is! That's Bullseye!!! |
| Tony Stark:
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Bullseye? What the hell? |
| Nick Fury:
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Steer clear of him, Squirrel Girl. |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Director Fury, you are a gentleman, and also a wee bit patronizing sometimes! |
Start[]
| Squirrel Girl:
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Why are you keeping an eye on the Circle of 8? Jealous that someone's crazier than you? |
| You keep joking, bunny-tooth. Laugh all the way to my trophy case. I'll put your tail in a real prominent place... after I take out all your ratty little friends. | Bullseye:
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| Squirrel Girl:
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You can't hit every squirrel in the park all at once. |
| You don't think so? Let's find out! | Bullseye:
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Complete[]
| Squirrel Girl:
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I was right. Bullseye found out it's a little harder to hit squirrels than he thought. I mean, when you're used to human-sized targets sometimes you think you're a better shot than you really are. |
| Tony Stark:
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Way to go, kid. |
Maria Hill:
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Do we know where Bullseye went? Or why he was watching the Circle of 8? |
| Squirrel Girl:
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He ducked out while I was distracted by the chanting. I don't know if you guys heard, but a bunch of the Circle of 8 weirdos were calling for Captain America to fight them! |
| Nick Fury:
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They wanted a fight with him? |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Yeah, they were talking about some kind of champion proving himself. |
Captain America:
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If they're asking for it... |
| Nick Fury:
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Not a chance. Let's interrogate the prisoners and see what they know about this. |
Boss - The Hood[]
Reveal[]
| Nick Fury:
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The Hood. Is he in on the Circle of 8? It's the kind of group that might appeal to him.
Squirrel Girl, we need you to get close to the Hood. Do not engage until your team is in place. |
| Squirrel Girl:
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You sound worried. Think I can't take care of myself? Geez, you don't know anything! I'll show you guys, just you wait! |
| Tony Stark:
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Wonder how the Hood feels about squirrels. |
| Nick Fury:
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We're about to find out. |
Start[]
| If I'd known about you when I was still a thief, you and your furry friends could've made quite the fortune spying for me. | The Hood:
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| Squirrel Girl:
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They'd have done it. I mean, they steal everything they can get their paws on if they think they can eat it.
Even if they think they might be able to eat it someday. They're like the animal version of disaster preppers. |
| Might be a good idea, considering what's about to happen. To you, to the world...
Times are about to get real interesting. |
The Hood:
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Repeat[]
| Squirrel Girl:
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Are you actually trying to demonically possess my squirrels? I mean, seriously? |
Complete[]
| Nick Fury:
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This is interesting. The Hood pulled his disappearing-through-a-portal trick in the Circle of 8's hideout. |
| Tony Stark:
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They didn't seem to know it was coming. |
| Squirrel Girl:
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They didn't. Tippy-Toe said the Circle of 8 seemed scared of the Hood. Then they sort of loved him because they were scared of him.
They're not normal. Tippy-Toe doesn't think the Hood is aligned with the Circle of 8, though.All the squirrels say they don't think the Circle of 8 knows why they're doing what they do! |
| Nick Fury:
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The squirrels have opinions? |
| Squirrel Girl:
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You ever heard a squirrel? They're practically made of opinions. |
Mission Complete[]
| Nick Fury:
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I have seen a lot of strange things in my time at S.H.I.E.L.D., but they just keep getting stranger. Realities cannibalizing each other... |
| Maria Hill:
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... loony cults performing mass human sacrifice... |
| Tony Stark:
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... heroes fighting by using a telepathic link to squirrels... |
| Nick Fury:
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That's another one. |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Well, I can retire. Or maybe just take my talents elsewhere, if you don't want someone around who can take on Bullseye and the Hood. |
| Maria Hill:
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You know that's not what he meant, Squirrel Girl. |
| Squirrel Girl:
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Whatev. If you say so.
Listen, I've got some nuts to crack, and then I need to groom my tail, so... |
| Tony Stark:
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We'll be calling on you again. Don't go far. |
| Maria Hill:
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An update on the bodies we found: someone massacred four symbiotes. We believe them to be Riot, Agony, Phage, and Lasher. |
Agent Coulson:
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Is the Circle of 8 trying to harness the symbiotes? Or are they eliminating them? |
| Maria Hill:
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It's hard to tell if the symbiotes themselves were destroyed or just their hosts. |
| Tony Stark:
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Should we ask Flash what he thinks about it? |
| Agent Coulson:
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He was there. He couldn't tell, either. We're running down all the leads we can. |
